This bugs the hell out of me, so I’m getting it off my chest. Please bear with me.

Who the hell was it who woke up one day and decided that when someone gets married, they cannot look at or talk to members of the opposite sex outside of their family members without everyone else chipping in their two cents and labeling them a cheater or a whore or a player or automatically assuming that they’re “playing the field”? I’m a married woman, and I love my husband. There’s honestly nothing in this world I wouldn’t do or give for him. And when we exchanged our vows back in 2009, I meant every word.

I’ve never cheated on my husband. I’ve never even been tempted. Is our married life perfect? No. We’re human, we’re not perfect, and it’s ludicrous to believe anyone could be. Every relationship you’ll ever be in, romantic or otherwise in your life, is going to have its ups and downs, and that’s part of what makes it worth it. You remember the highs to get you through the lows. You look back at the rough patches and remember having each other to get you through it. To show you the silver lining through the clouds.

What the hell kind of a life do you have without people you love to share it with? People you can laugh and cry and be yourself with and not have to worry about pretending to be anything but who and what you are with?

I’ve never had my own massive entourage of friends, in fact I’ve always been pretty introverted by nature, but I was never without a handful of really close, really incredible friends. Friends who could call me at three in the morning and cry if they needed, or come over and eat ice cream and tell me about their problems. I once had a friend actually call me at 3 in the morning and we spent the remainder of the night driving around in her car so she could tell me about her problems and I could help her out in any way I could.

Another time a friend of mine called me up, having relationship problems, so we swung by a drive thru, picked up dinner, and drove out and sat by the freeway and ate and watched the cars pass us by till the sun went down, and we talked him through it.

Yeah, I said him.

And yeah, some of my closest friends have been guys throughout the course of my life. My best friend from the beginning of seventh grade all the way through high school was a guy.  To this day he knows if there was ever anything he needed, he could pick up the phone and I’d be there.

Why should I stop being there for people just because I fell in love and got married? So some of my friends are still guys? So I enjoy their company. So what? Yes, my husband knows about it, yes my husband knows my friends personally. No, that doesn’t mean I’ve ever cheated on my husband or considered it or that I’m looking to cheat down the road, and to be honest, the only man who should be concerned about it is my husband. I don’t understand people, where they find out that I like talking to people, meeting new people, and they feel they suddenly need to hop up on that soapbox and read me the riot act about how I should shut myself in and cease to talk to everyone of the opposite sex because *gasp* I’m the reason they send me dirty messages, and I should go offline so that they’re not tempted to send them to me.

That their behavior and their way of treating women is my fault.

And no, I’m not trolling dating sites, I’m not all over hookup sites. That would be one thing. I’m talking social sites here people. Facebook, or myspace style sites. Risque, I know. I should be ashamed of myself, apparently.

But you know what? Even if I caved, and I did go offline and become a hermit, some other woman would be the one they sent such messages to. And it wouldn’t be her fault either. It shouldn’t be about whether we’re married, whether we’re not. That’s between us and our spouses. It should be about respecting the person. (And yes, I’m talking about respect for the guys too!) If you don’t agree with what they’re doing, that’s fine; you’re more than entitled to your opinion. Move on. What’s the point in reading them the riot act? What do you really accomplish other than making yourself sound like an ass in front of everyone else who reads what you have to say, and getting backed up by other likeminded, close minded, judgmental people? Why all the negativity?  Life is already too damned short as it is!

I’ve always been an open-minded person. I’ve always loved meeting new people from all walks of life and hearing them talk about themselves at length– their different backgrounds, their different religions, their passions, their hopes, their dreams. I love nothing more than watching them light up when they talk about something they love, something they’re passionate about.

I love people on a person by person basis. I’ve been that way all my life. I don’t understand why I should have to give that up now, and honestly, I have no intentions of it. I shouldn’t have to change who I am to become this little cookie cutter image of what people think I should be. I’m a good person, I’m a caring, honest, passionate, friendly and loyal sort of person with a good heart. And I have no intentions on ever changing that.

Thank you so much for letting me vent about it, whoever’s still reading my rant, if anyone. I know I should just continue to ignore and to block the negative people, as I’ve always done, but I guess I just don’t understand why people treat other people with so little respect. It’s always bugged the ever-living hell out of me.

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About avsongbird

I'm a housewife, an amateur writer and blogger, and the stepmother of three boys. I have four dogs. I love animals, I love to garden, and I love to crochet. I love movies, music, and books. I love to cook. I'm open-minded and creative and imaginative, and I'm an avid reader. I find inspiration in practically everything, and I love nothing more than to inspire such things in others, if I can.
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